“TRYING “to be nice to a person is worst than not being nice at all. “TRYING” has a dual effect. Because on one side you have the person going against their will and perpetrating to do something that they don’t want to do and exerting extra energy that is condescending. On the other side, you have a person who believes that the other person is being sincere and they accept a niceness that is fraudulent and deceitful. So they let their guard down solely because of what they THOUGHT was genuineness, but it was actually venomous. So, out of Being deceitful, the perpetrator is angrier because he acted out of his character to do something that was Actually in his character, but his Ego arrested his character before it could release the niceness that’s in it. The perpetrated is wounded from the effect of the deceitfulness, and the guard has been put back up 20x greater than before. The worst thing about it is that all of this could have been avoided if the perpetrator would’ve have stop trying and just Be. Being nice cost absolutely nothing, but TRYING to be nice cost everything. My buddy and I was just talking and all he kept saying was ” BUT Cook I was TRYING to be nice”. And he felt worse by TRYING. BE nice to everyone because it cost absolutely nothing. What I’ve discovered even in my own life is that the reason a lot of us aren’t nice is because we are afraid of Being nice!